Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Randomize
