There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
