creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
