apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
