I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
