Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
