tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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