i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
