Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
