i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
