Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
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