I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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