My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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