if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
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What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
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He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize