My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
