Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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