So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
