a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
