just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
