She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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