I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
