But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
