Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
You ruined the universe
Randomize
