Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
