I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
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