My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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