You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
