Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
All the doctor said was why
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
last night I used snow as a chaser
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
