the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
