We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
