i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
