Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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