Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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