That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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