she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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