i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
