If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
