You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
