Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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