I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
