im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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