Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize