Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize