i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
