If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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