it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
