I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize