Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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