Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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