This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
