dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
