I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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