i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize