Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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