they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
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My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
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Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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