Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Randomize
