Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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