Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
