Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
The beer is more important than you right now.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
