Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
