I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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