Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
