singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?