try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
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I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual