He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
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So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
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Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation