Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(307): View more from Wyoming

try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...

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(636): View more from Missouri

I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.

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(912): View more from Georgia

Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?

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(519): View more from Ontario

we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"

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These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
Read it at the TFLN blog
(807): View more from Ontario

I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.

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(586): View more from Michigan

hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink

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(619): View more from California

Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck

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(315): View more from New York

He tried to tip me with his police badge...

(1-315): View more from New York

and you didn't accept WHY?!

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(270): View more from Kentucky

Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?

(945): View more from

dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual

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