Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
