sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
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